Spending 10 weeks in Indonesia this fall learning the language, driving the motorcycle, being less dependent only emphasized the separateness and otherness both while there and returning to the US. It takes time to fit into each place. Time to feel at home. Time to adjust my brain as well as my body clock.
When in Indo, I am mother and grandmother. People call me "Oma" (grandmother). I spend time helping my daughters decorate, organize, play, cook, whatever. My main "job" is to reconnect with our grandkids. I'm a "bule" (foreign). I'm pointed at, deferred to, different. I eat papaya, mango, biyem, nasi, krupuk, kari, labu siam, ayam, and ikan.....LOTS of ikan.
When in the US, I am wife, neighbor, friend. Most of the people I see don't know my kids or grands. They see this 50-some woman who drives a nice car, lives in a nice house, wears nice clothes and seems to be a typical suburban white lady. Successful. American. I eat salmon, steak, salad, pork chops, apples, grapes and rice......always. :)
It's like having two brains. Two lives. And it's ok. Because it's good.
